Adult Matchmaker » Why Do Men Cheat?

In my relationship work, this question is probably the one I hear most often. It is not an easy question to answer. The usual glib answer; “because they can”, is really not good enough. People, particularly women, want to know the reason why men cheat, or more particularly, why their man cheated.

Different women have a different view as to what constitutes ‘cheating’. For some women, for the man simply to look at another woman may be regarded as cheating, for other women it is being intimate with another person that constitutes ‘cheating, and there are some women who appear able to accept flirting and even intimacy with another person but it is an emotional involvement that constitutes ‘cheating’.

So let us try first to establish what is ‘cheating’ and what might be considered ‘normal’ behaviour in a man. First of all, there needs to be some degree of commitment and exclusivity between the two partners, furthermore, this commitment needs to be understood and agreed by both people. Without this there can be little question of ‘cheating’ on behalf of either party.

Obviously, marriage, engagement, living together would constitute a degree of commitment. Regularly dating for a period, may also be seen as constituting a commitment. It is here that the confusion starts to arise for a man may not feel he is committed to another person until he has said so to her, for the woman the simple fact that he dates her regularly may be seen as a sign of commitment.

It is where there is a disagreement as to the level of commitment involved, that most problems occur. The man may feel he is free to see another person without it being considered ‘cheating’ but the woman (his first partner) would be more likely to consider it cheating.

Also, there is a degree to which a man separates the physical act of lovemaking from the emotional attachment to another person. A man is able to perform the physical act without becoming emotionally attached to the woman. A man may often cite that a fling or an affair was ‘purely physical’ and that it does not mean that he is not now physically and emotionally attracted to his first partner. For a man, this is often true and is not simply an excuse. However, the woman is likely to view the situation differently.

Very often, a woman who suspects her man of cheating wants some evidence or proof of it. This is often to satisfy and corroborate her belief. However, the woman often has not thought through what she would do if the evidence became proof of her man’s infidelity.

For the woman, proof of her man’s cheating brings emotional hurt and anger. It will often also bring about feelings of distress, loss of self esteem and a feeling that she was to blame. This creates a dilemma for the woman; should she try to repair the relationship out of belief that somehow she has been to blame for his infidelity or should she end the relationship acting out of anger or emotional distress? The emotional consequences of a man’s cheating are not usually apparent to the man, certainly not prior to his act of cheating. It is only afterwards that a man may have some feelings of guilt. However, if he is not found out, then these may subside and the man comes to believe that he can get away with the cheating. Even so, if he tries to continue and to get away with his cheating, he still knows that at some point he is likely to be found out. At this point, it can become a contest, how far can he go without being found out?

To some men, having many partners is seen as a symbol of their status. Even when in a committed relationship, they may think they have a need to boost their status, esteem or ego by cheating. The loss of love, affection and support as a result of a simple thrill, does not occur to them until too late.

In their hearts and minds, men know that cheating is wrong, yet often their egos, their physical needs and, quite simply, the temptations overrule their hearts and minds.

So has this article answered the thorny question of why men cheat? Probably not. This is a complex issue and the causes or reasons will vary from instance to instance. No one can tell you unequivocally why your man may have cheated, not even your man himself.

In such circumstances what you, the two of you, have to decide is whether you want to repair the relationship or end it.


Adult Matchmaker Australia

Douglas Woods is a Life and Relationship Coach working with people who wish to improve their lives or relationships. You can read more about his work at www.dougwoods.com. He is also a contributor to www.singlescene.net
Article Source: www.ArticlesBase.com

Technorati Tags: , , , , , , , , ,


More related articles from this website...
  • Singles Dating Websites

    • Singles Dating In Australia - The exciting world of Adult Dating has never been so easy. All you need is a computer, a valid email address and lots of free time to meet all your new friends.Gone are the days when you had to go thru the weekly routine of hitting the Nightclub scene. Now you dont even have to....
  • Adult Matchmaker Australia

    • View members photos and profiles for free!!! Adult Matchmaker is the largest Adult Dating Online website in Australia, with over 700,000 active members in there Aussie database.And they even offer 100% free membership. To check out what there members photos' look like, all you have to do is click the appropriate link below and enjoy the view!!! Click here to view Adult....
  • Another Wordpress Plugin Test

    • This is a test to see if the less.php plugin works. The idea behind this plugin is that it tages the reader of the post to the beginning of the post when they click the "read the rest of this entry" Adult Matchmaker Australia : Join For Free....
  • Adult Matchmaker

    • Over 700,000 members - Thats how many hot blooded Australians have joined Adult Matchmaker since its beginnings in 2002. Making it by far the most popular and sort after way of people meeting exiting new friends for fun, sex and even marriage.A word of caution though... this is an Adults Only website containing some very graphic photos of members, including....
  • Adult Matchmaker Au : What Constitutes The Best Online Dating Service

    • The answer to this question varies from individual to individual. People generally agree that a good online dating service should be simple to use. It should also be packed with lots of features like video profiles, instant messaging, video chat, text chat, just to mention a few. Some online dating services like Adult Matchmaker offer search functionality and mutual matching....
  • Adult Matchmaker » Super Daters and Birds of a Feather

    • From childhood we have chosen our best friends using common interests and similar values as criteria. Nowhere is this more important than in choosing a mate. Adult Matchmaker Australia If you are only interested in the company of the opposite sex for short conversations and fun in bed, you probably choose your dates based on looks,....
  • The Biggest Advantage of Online Dating » Adult Matchmaker

    • Since we are all social beings, relationships have become the food for soul. All of us are looking to find someone to share the good and bed moments in our lives. But what we have to keep in mind is that our good or bed moments depends on our partners and how much we match with that person. It....
  • How a Woman Flirts to Get Your Attention » Adult Matchmaker

    • It’s all about body language, and women often use body language to show men they are interested. Women who flirt are subconsciously trying to tell you they are interested and want to take things to the next level. Men sometimes find, though, that interpreting female flirting signals can be challenging. They may term it more of....
  • Adult Matchmaker » When The Old And The Young Date

    • Some relationships just don’t seem to fit right in our conscious. We see the couple and they look alright from a distance but as we move closer to them we notice one is much older than the other. With a puzzled look on our face we watch in amusement as they fawn over each other like newlyweds.....
  • What to do when you are looking for love » Adult Matchmaker

    • It seems like everyone is looking for love and while we are trying to find our soul mate, we have tv, books and movies showing some happy couple meeting by happenstance and, of course, falling in love. How convenient for them but in most cases this is not how it happens. In real life you don’t have....
  • Find Out If You Are You In Cyberlove

    • cyberlove. Millions of singles worldwide are enjoying this fairly new phenomena. online dating services are connecting singles worldwide on a daily basis, and it seems a growing trend that a lot of offline singles are missing out on.Joining an online dating service is a very straight forward exercise. The most difficult part would be choosing your....
  • How to Get a Girl to Like you - Guaranteed Tips to Win Her Heart! » Adult Matchmaker

    • Are you stumped with how to get a girl to like you? Fear not, because there are ways to catch a woman’s heart. Around half of the world’s male population have a dilemma on how to capture the heart of the girl of their dreams the same as you. Just what is it that makes women weak in the knees....
  • Common Mistakes That Most Online Daters Make

    • Author: Bobby G. Laney Millions of singles are using online love dating site to find someone who are completely compatible with them. Only some of them get success in finding their soul mate online. There are some mistakes that are done by online daters which decrease the chances of their success in online dating. Here are some common mistakes done by....
  • Matchmaking Agencies - Loneliness Turned To Happiness

    • Having problems setting up a twosome for an evening where you would like to ask some one out on a date but not sure how or who to ask. Your match made in heaven is out there but how do you find that person. The first step to take is to contact a Matchmaking agency to lighten....
  • Adult Friendfinder members preview

    • Check out these two hot new female members at Adult Friend Finder Read our website review here and see why over 600,000 have joined.   ....
  • Dating Online Opens Up A World of Possibilities

    • Are you sick of meeting the same kinds of people in life? Try the online dating sites. Dating online is a way to meet a variety of different people who you might never meet in day to day life. With its ever increasing popularity, your chances of making your perfect match constantly grow better. With computer ....
  • The Dimension Of Online Personals : Adult Matchmaker

    • So youre a single person and you want to meet someone. Youve seen the commercials and probably received more than a few spam letters in your inbox advertising online personals. Youve thought about signing for one, but are unsure where to begin. There are so many choices out there for online personals that it makes you want to pull your....
  • Casual Sex Dating and Relationship

    • With changing lifestyles, relationship has become a burden for most people entrapped in fast paced rat race type of society. The rising number of divorce and cases of extreme marital discord is an instance that can be safely quoted to quantify the above statement.But then what to do? If relationship is a burden then no love,....
  • 10 tips on being a romantic

    • 1. Send her flowers unexpectedly. Choose a bunch of her favorite flowers of her favorite colors or ask your florist (man’s next best friend) for suggestions. 2. Write her a check for a million kisses, and let her take it to the bank. 3. Have your song playing on the stereo when she returns....
  • Adult Match maker

    • Join Adult Match Maker For Free Instantly : Sex Personals websites in Australia have become the single most sort after way of people meeting each other for casual or permanent relationships. The largest Adult Sex Personals online dating website in Australia to-day is Adult Match Maker. Membership is free and allows you to access there huge database of over....

Trackback URL for this post:
http://www.adultsexpersonals.com.au/adult-matchmaker-why-do-men-cheat/78/trackback/

Posted in Adult Sex Personals |

5 Responses to “Adult Matchmaker » Why Do Men Cheat?”

  1. Adult Dating Online Blog wrote on 04/27/06 at 12:16 am :

    Dating Tips: Attract Women And Make Your Dates Effective » Adult Matchmaker…

    You are on the first date with a girl you have a crush on. Your palms are sweating, you are trying damn hard to come up with something funny to say, only to have long silences in your conversation. She gets up after an hour and says: “Sorry but i…

  2. Adult Dating Online Blog wrote on 04/27/06 at 12:18 am :

    What Attracts Women To Men » Adult Friendfinder…

    “It has been a well accepted fact that men are basically clueless to whatever it is that attracts women. In fact, some reports contend that women are so hard to comprehend that even if men master how to decode their body language, still, they jus…

  3. Adult Dating Online Blog wrote on 04/27/06 at 12:18 am :

    Dating In 2006 So Many Choices » RedHotPie…

    Every thing is Rush, Rush, Rush. We all have a million agendas and only a 100 hours to do it all in.Americans work more hours, spend less time at home, and eat on the go more than ever before. So how do we meet people that will have the same interest

    …

  4. Adult Dating Online Blog wrote on 04/27/06 at 12:19 am :

    Singles Dating IQ - Do You Pass The Test? » RedHotPie…

    What is your dating IQ? How many successful dates vs fail dates? Your dating IQ does make a different.How many intelligent individuals would spend valuable dollars on a lawyer, doctor, or CPA with an unhealthy IQ? We would expect them to be qualified

    …

  5. Douglas Woods wrote on 11/20/07 at 7:20 pm :

    Hi,
    Thanks for publishing this article of mine.

TrackBack URI

Leave a Reply

XHTML: You can use these tags: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>

« Older entry Newer entry »